“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them and to dominate them.” Oscar Wilde.
The true meaning of Independence is to be free from our own negative emotions, thoughts, feelings, behavior and attitude. When I started working, I believed I was responsible for my teammate’s feelings. This belief was born out of my internal struggles. I worried I wasn’t good enough. I feared I would let everyone down. So, I put pressure on myself to make sure the people around me were happy. When they weren’t, I wasn’t either. It was exhausting as I was carrying a huge burden on my head of different emotions such as anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, etc. I’ve learned a hard lesson that I don’t have to choose between emotional slavery and disowning other people’s feelings. There is a third option: emotional freedom. When I behave in an emotionally liberated way, I take responsibility for my feelings, intentions, and actions, but not the feelings of others. Let me share you an interesting story which helped me to be free from negative emotions and be self-aware of my state of mind.
Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained and there were puddles of water on the roadsides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk across because of a puddle of water. The elder of the two monks went up to her lifted her and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.
In the evening the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, “Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman?” The elder monk answered “yes, brother.” Then the younger monk asks again, “but then Sir, how is that you lifted that woman on the roadside?” The elder monk smiled at him and told him” I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her.”
So, you see what you carry with you is your state of mind. Is it really worth?